Recently, I have felt more and more of the need to get back to the roots of what faith is all about. We love our masks don't we? We love acting like everything is fine, like there's nothing wrong, like everything is under control. We put up these faces of "being holy" or "righteous" and we continue to believe the idea that God can only work with those who have everything all together.
I look back upon my faith walk, and I realize that, even though I have come a long, long way from who I was then... there's something incredibly beautiful about that first realization of Who and What God is. There's nothing more phenomenal to me than looking at that first instance, that moment in time that I realized that God is God and I am not. For me, it was a night during my freshman year of Life Teen, we had adoration and I just remember lying face down on the ground bawling because I couldn't keep up the mask any longer. I cried out to God in my prayer that night, "You need to help me, because there is nothing I can do." It's in that moment that God took ahold of me in an incredibly personal way. What a gift.
It says in scripture, "At dusk, dawn, and noon I will grieve and complain and my prayer will be heard." -Psalm 55:18. God will even hear our grieving and complaining, we just need to come with all that we are to Him. He wants all that we are, not just the "best part" of us, He wants all of us. He wants us with our faults, our doubts, our failures, our pains, all of it. He is our Father, and I think that sometimes we forget this. We come to Him more often than not with the disposition that He is this distant deity who we have to impress. No, nothing could be further from the truth. Our God wants to meet us where we're at. The scriptures are full of verses showing how much He just wants to be with us, regardless of what we've done or how much "junk" we have. It says in Isaiah 43: 18-19, "Remember not the events of the past, the things of long ago consider not; see, I am doing something new!" He just wants to be with us, like a loving father, all He wants is to care for us and shower us with His love. Yet, we still keep this idea of "God is up there, and I am down here." Why is it so difficult to just let go and let Him love us? Why is it so hard to come to Him with all that we are, brokenness and all.
The essence of salvation is crying out to God, I completely and whole-heartedly agree with that statement. We should be crying out to God daily and saying to Him, "Father, I need You, I'm really messed up down here." He continually meets us where we're at, that's how great our God is, let's never forget that.
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