It

The past few days have been interesting to say the least. As each moment passes me by and as I consider all the things that have been happening between us, I feel like I'm getting a clearer and clearer picture that she is it. Crazy? Maybe. The simple fact remains plain though, I think and believe that she is the one I've been waiting for, the one that I've been dreaming about, the one who I want to share the entirety of my life with unreservedly.

The other day I was in prayer and was just trying to figure out what God is doing in this situation. I asked Him, point blank, "Is she it?" The response I received was plain and simple, "Let yourself fall in love, everything from your past has been preparing you for this." I left prayer hesitant to say the least, thoughts shot through my head, "How in the world can this be? I've only known her for four months." We're not even dating, at least not officially, yet there is this deep peace within my soul whenever I am with her. Every time I lay eyes on her all I can think is, "She is my lily among the thorns." There's this overwhelming desire to just be with her, I don't care what we're doing, just as long as she's by my side. Hundreds of thousands of little things, quite honestly, make me love her more and more each day and it is the single most joyful experience of my life.

Today I was walking back to my car from the office and she had shown up to the church randomly for that portion of the afternoon, she stepped out of the car and was wearing this beautiful ensemble that simply cannot be described, perhaps the closest description would be, "breath-taking." She got out of her car and embraced me. We talked briefly, then she began to shiver as she was calling her mother, I stepped closer and asked her, "Can I just do this right now?" and wrapped my arms around her to keep her from being too cold. As I was holding her in my arms, and she was talking on the phone with her mother all of the sudden it just hit me...I never wanted it to end. That moment, however brief it was, could have just continued on and on and on, and I would have been okay with just being frozen right there. I gave her another embrace good-bye as I went home to change out of my more formal attire and as I was taking my shirt off I noticed that there was a lipstick stain on the collar of my shirt, right where her head was. I stopped, thought about the simplicity and beauty of all that happened and it came to me, it all clicked, just like I'd been hoping that it would someday. Rob Bell spoke about when he and his wife first went out and there was that anticipation and that mystery and that beginning love that was there and he said of it, "I thought, 'I'd rather be here, with her, at this moment, than anywhere else in the universe.'" That was what had happened, that was what clicked, I'm not afraid to love her, and that in and of itself is significant enough to prove to me that there is something bigger going on than just another infatuation. The thought of not seeing her every day for the rest of my life simply devastated me. It is now time to be patient and hope and pray ever more vigilantly that I'm not misreading these things and that she is it. How could this be? "For nothing will be impossible with God." -Luke 1:37