Done.

Tonight I told the teens that I'm leaving. It was a heart-wrenching announcement, but one that had to be done. By the good grace of God, Rita was absent tonight. It killed me looking at the faces of those teens and having to tell them I was leaving.

They're a part of me now.

I feel like I've screwed up so often in ministry, that I'm such a huge failure and that I should just consider cleaning the slate with the hands of uncertainty, but the funniest thing happened tonight. They all were super supportive, and were so full of love. They encouraged me, thanked me, reached out and hugged me. Everything that I've been missing these past few years all culminated in one big announcement.

This sucks. I really don't want to leave any of the teens, I want to kill the church politics, I want to stop working with Rita, but for the love of everything good and holy, I don't want to leave the teens. They've done so much for me, they've changed me.

What have I done?