What I've seen and where I've been
Is breaking out, breaking in
Who I love and I despise
Melting into compromise
How I've changed
And how I've learned
Becoming less, becoming more
But I'm still nothing without You
I'm still nothing next to You
Now all the future seems unclear
Never moving, never near
But You hold me as I scream
Wake me from my wicked dream
Something out there waits for me
Hand in hand we wait for it
But I'm still nothing next to You
I'm still nothing without You
And the wonder of it all
Is I'm still standing
And the wonder of it all
Is we're still standing
Never planned it
And I wonder
Where I'll be next year
Is breaking out, breaking in
Who I love and I despise
Melting into compromise
How I've changed
And how I've learned
Becoming less, becoming more
But I'm still nothing without You
I'm still nothing next to You
Now all the future seems unclear
Never moving, never near
But You hold me as I scream
Wake me from my wicked dream
Something out there waits for me
Hand in hand we wait for it
But I'm still nothing next to You
I'm still nothing without You
And the wonder of it all
Is I'm still standing
And the wonder of it all
Is we're still standing
Never planned it
And I wonder
Where I'll be next year
The song, "Wonder of It All" has floated in and out of my faith walk for the past two years, I was listening to this song after the retreat this past weekend and the lyrics just hit me, they actually obliterated me. This weekend was so incredibly humbling for me and I just can't help but step back and consider, truly, the wonder of it all. God just never ceases to amaze me.
The week leading up to the retreat was quite possibly one of the worst weeks of my life, the enemy was attacking me at every turn, in every imaginable fashion. Feelings of loneliness, being told, "This can't work, we can only be friends" from the woman who things had been going so well with. The nitty-gritty of planning for a retreat, concerns of everything coming together for the teens. All of it just seemed to close in on me. Then, came the retreat.
The Holy Spirit came to move through everyone over the course of the weekend. I was completely humbled by how everything came together almost effortlessly. The talks went so well, and both of the talks that I "gave" were not my own, there is no way that I could have, God must have overpowered my speech and just spoken through me. Even though all the future seemed unclear and every night really was like a wicked dream leading into this past weekend, He held me as I screamed. He woke me from that terrible nightmare. I wonder how in the world it is that I'm still standing, but it makes sense, because I'm standing next to Him. Hand in hand I wait with my Father for those things that He has planned for me. That is the wonder of it all.
The week leading up to the retreat was quite possibly one of the worst weeks of my life, the enemy was attacking me at every turn, in every imaginable fashion. Feelings of loneliness, being told, "This can't work, we can only be friends" from the woman who things had been going so well with. The nitty-gritty of planning for a retreat, concerns of everything coming together for the teens. All of it just seemed to close in on me. Then, came the retreat.
The Holy Spirit came to move through everyone over the course of the weekend. I was completely humbled by how everything came together almost effortlessly. The talks went so well, and both of the talks that I "gave" were not my own, there is no way that I could have, God must have overpowered my speech and just spoken through me. Even though all the future seemed unclear and every night really was like a wicked dream leading into this past weekend, He held me as I screamed. He woke me from that terrible nightmare. I wonder how in the world it is that I'm still standing, but it makes sense, because I'm standing next to Him. Hand in hand I wait with my Father for those things that He has planned for me. That is the wonder of it all.
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