Content

St. Rafael Arnaiz has floated in and out of my life for the past year now. I first discovered who this incredible saint was during my Benedictine Spirituality class when my group and I presented on the Trappist order. His story follows the narrative of simple love. After graduating high school, he fell in love with the Trappist order. He entered as a novice and had a desperate case of diabetes which was detrimental to his vocation. He was drafted by the army during the Spanish civil war, but declared inept for service. Throughout the course of his young life he was forced to go in and out of the monastery at least three different times. The final time he entered he was forced to enter as an oblate, living on the outskirts of the community. Yet he still desired to be the monk he knew he was called to be.

I recently had a conversation with my mother in which she asked me about dating. I told her that in order for me to consider dating again, God Himself would have to crack open the skies, appear with a host of angels and say to me, "John, this woman here is who you're supposed to marry." Heartache has been the reality of my mangled love life far more often than joy, happiness or peace. There is a part of me that is so over it, so fed up, so completely done. Then, I consider the story of St. Rafael, he hit wall after wall after wall in pursuing his vocation and he never gave up. He continually sought out the way he knew God wanted him to be truly happy in this life. Nothing was going to keep him from pursuing that vocation, that key to following God's will. Then, I look at his picture, completely at peace, drenched in a very tangible, visible happiness. I don't think that there's another picture that conveys such a pure sense of contentment, of true complete happiness. So, as I begin to consider my vocation, and understand that the best things in life are often those that are hard-fought, I take refuge in the story of St. Rafael, and I hope that someday there will be a picture of my wife and I where we look so happy, so content, so holy that others too may be inspired to follow their vocation, despite the intense suffering that sometimes comes along with pursuing it.