Dissatisfied

I don't wanna be where you are,

I don't wanna be here even now,

I don't wanna be by your side,

Something isn't right,

Something isn't right.

God if You can hear me out alright,

Please take these feelings for her inside,

My chest hurts when I breathe tonight,

It's wasting me away, 

You're wasting me away,

My soul is dissatisfied. That's the best way to describe where I'm at. I thought I was getting better, I thought I was letting go, I thought that I was going to be strong enough to deal with all the circumstances encircling me. I was wrong. Every time she walks by, every time she looks away, my heart just hurts. My chest still continues to be tight, and as much as I've tried to lay this all out before God, there's something in me that simply can't do it. If I was to just be completely honest with myself, I'd be forced to come to the conclusion that I allowed myself to fall in love with her, and I'm coming face-to-face with the reality that has slapped me across the face countless times before: romantic love is not meant for me. Experience speaks louder than any reason, it screams incessantly "you're not worth it, give it up." 

Being here just hurts, I don't want to be here any more. I don't want to be anywhere, I'm just very unsettled right now. All I want is for God to just take these feelings I have for her inside and let me start fresh. It kills me inside just how cold things seem to be anymore. I'm certain that I've lost my mind, what else could explain why I still want to pursue her? Why do I let this happen to me? Something isn't right, I'm so stupid. I just hurt, and I don't want to hurt for her any longer. God, please take away these feelings for her... please.