Taken

To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink
Of its work I do sing

For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love
And God is just

At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given
Through Christ crucified

You’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life
And I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciled

In awe of the cross I must confess
How wondrous Your redeeming love and
How great is Your faithfulness

This song, "Sweetly Broken" aptly describes my summer experience. Time after time this summer, God has chosen to break me and shatter me into pieces. This past week, I gave the introduction talk to the middle school and high schoolers and I had planned nothing at all for this talk, and I truly feel like the Holy Spirit took ahold of that talk and just used me as a tool. The thing that I remember from the talk was that I said something to the effect that we can choose to be clay in the hands of the potter and let Him form and fashion us, but, that comes at a price. I went on and talked about how Henri Nouwen notes that our lives are meant to be a mirror of the Eucharistic prayer. That is to say: we are taken, God has us here on earth for a reason, just like the bread is taken; we are blessed, God made us His own and poured out His blessings upon us at Baptism, just like the priest blesses the bread during the Eucharistic prayer; we are broken, God gives us trials and tribulations to break and shatter us, just like the priest breaks the Body of our Lord under the appearances of bread; we are given, it is in our brokenness that we can share ourselves with others and point them towards the saving truth of the Gospel, just like how the Eucharist is given only after it has been broken.

Throughout this summer, I've learned one thing for certain it is in being broken, we become more human. What I mean to say is, being shattered and humbled brings us to the truth of who we are: that is, "You are dirt, and to dirt you shall return (Genesis 3:19)." So in a way, being broken takes on a certain sweetness, when it is seen in this light. He is beckoning us to the cross, to humility. He is calling us because, "he humbled himself, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross (Philippians 2:8)." There were times that I came face to face with the real fact that I am human and I am a fallen person who needs God's mercy and love every single day. Some mornings I woke up and simply prayed to God, "I simply cannot do this any more, God, I can't, what the hell am I doing here?" My limitations were laid out in very plain sight, not only to myself, but to the rest of my team as well. God has taken me and broken me this summer, however painful it may be, I know that ultimately it is sweet because it's becoming in touch with my failings and weaknesses that I can become more human. My brokenness advances my ability to give myself to others because God working in and through my brokenness might be enough to possibly touch someone's heart. The experiences I've gained through Totus Tuus have had a huge impact on me and this will surely be a summer that I will never forget, and I've come to thank God for making me... sweetly broken.

O Jesus, meek and humble of heart, Hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being loved, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being extolled, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being honored, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being praised, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being preferred to others, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being consulted, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being approved, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being humiliated, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being despised, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of suffering rebukes, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being calumniated, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being forgotten, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being ridiculed, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being wronged, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being suspected, Deliver me, O Jesus.

That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be chosen and I set aside, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be praised and I go unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.