pressed my face in the dust;
my soul is deprived of peace,
I have forgotten what happiness is,
I tell myself my future is lost,
all that I hoped for from the Lord."-Lamentations 3:16-18
The prophet Jeremiah just nails where my soul is at right now in the entire third chapter of Lamentations. I fell like my face keeps being pushed into the dirt. Earlier on in the chapter, Jeremiah says that he is, "one whom he has led and forced to walk in darkness, not in the light." Wow. Sometimes, no, most times lately, I feel like I'm wandering around in the dark without any sense of direction.
Something that is interesting though is that Jeremiah says that he has been led and forced to walk in darkness. I suppose that is what God is doing with me right now. He was led there by the hand of God, that should bring some comfort to the situation. I guess I should take a page out of Jeremiah's book. Led into darkness, there needs to be such a trust, one greater than I possess, to be willing to be led into that darkness. I guess that is what's happening in my life, I am being led and forced to walk in this darkness. Jeremiah writes on and says, "He has hemmed me in with no escape, and weighed me down in chains; even when I cry out for help, he stops my prayer; he has blocked my ways with fitted stones, and turned my path aside." It seems as if Jeremiah felt backed into a corner much like I do, yet God was there, He was the One doing the backing in. Just like St. Paul says, "God chastises those whom He loves."
God is here. No matter how distant He seems, He is here. He has placed His hand upon my shoulder and has led me into this darkness. He is doing His work in me, and just like Jeremiah I need to force myself to realize that His mercies are not spent, He has brought me into this state for a reason. The Lord may be shoving my face into the dust, but it is only because He sees a greater good to come from it. Lord, I surrender it all to You in regards to this next school year, even in regards to this summer. I am placing it all in Your hands. I'm taking the leap of faith and trusting that You will catch me. It's all for You, it's all for You, I'm letting go, I'm letting go. You are God and I am not. I trust in You.
1 comment:
But I will call this to mind,
as my reason to have hope:
The favors of the Lord are not exhausted,
his mercies are not spent;
They are renewed each morning,
so great is his faithfulness.
My portion is the Lord, says my soul:
therefore I will hope in him.
Good is the Lord to one who waits for him,
to the soul that seeks him;
it is good to hope in silence
for the saving help of the Lord."
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